Archive of UserLand's first discussion group, started October 5, 1998.

Re: respect vs. disrespect

Author:Seth Dillingham
Posted:8/29/2000; 1:30:34 PM
Topic:scriptingNews outline for 8/23/2000
Msg #:20512 (In response to 20495)
Prev/Next:20511 / 20513

I think the fact that Dave is so often the target of vicious flaming is an indication that he's generally respected. Someone you respect can let you down, or not meet your expectations, but that doesn't mean you've lost all respect for them... and it's those sorts of things (not meeting expectations) that usually result in flaming.

"You're a well known person with an ego, but you made me mad somehow so now I'm going to say lots of hurtful things to you and try to convince everybody, most of all myself, that I don't respect you anymore and that nobody else should either."

We also have to keep in mind that this is about our own impressions of people, and has nothing to do with who they really are. If Dave and I disagree on something, and get into a (public or private) bashing session, and then decide not to talk to each other for months, or even go so far as to ignore each other because we just don't care what the other person is doing... does that mean that either of us is not respectable? Yes, but only in the mind of the other person. It's a value-based judgement.

Respect (and it's negative counterpart) are the kinds of terms that I think are usually misused. I think most people confuse "respect" with things like "reverence" or "honor" (as in "Yes, Your Honor").



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