Archive of UserLand's first discussion group, started October 5, 1998.

Re: anti flame capsule

Author:David McCusker
Posted:9/20/2000; 11:19:41 PM
Topic:anti flame capsule
Msg #:21571 (In response to 21568)
Prev/Next:21570 / 21572

I need to hit the sack so I can see the dentist at 7:40 AM tomorrow.

Josh Allen: Doing your best to avoid offending someone is a pragmatic way to keep the conversation on track. (That's what you are saying, right?).

Exactly, and sometimes it even goes better than just on track. If the other guy's mind stays really clear, they sometimes have really interesting ideas.

Josh Allen: When someone gets worked up despite your best efforts, it's usually an opportunity to learn yet another way to communicate without offending people.

Yeah, and I still make mistakes even when I try hard. But I hope my mistakes are smaller ones. And it does seem awfully informative when folks get upset anyway. When it is so unlikely, the data is that much more meaningful, in an information theoretic kind of sense.

Josh Allen: I still think the best conversations happen when the involved parties don't feel a need to be parsimonious with one another, and even more so when everyone is secure enough to not take offense at anything.

I think one can be less parsimonious when you get a really good idea how the other folks normally think. Then you can play a bit more and suppose it will be fun for all involved.

Josh Allen: But you drag me back to the reality that the world doesn't operate that way, and changing me is easier than changing them.

Also when fewer folks are yelling, one's digestion might be better. :-) I guess it is changing yourself to follow a more ascetic course, by refusing to exercise some freedoms in expression. But the rewards are usually immediate and palpable. People smile more right away.

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