Archive of UserLand's first discussion group, started October 5, 1998.
Flames, egos and acceptance
Author: Andrew Duncan Posted: 8/25/2000; 7:01:09 PM Topic: Flames, egos and acceptance Msg #: 20286 Prev/Next: 20285 / 20287
"Acceptance is the hardest thing"It's a deceptively simple phrase, but it's deep and warrants some deep contemplation, rather than an immediate response.
Some fortunate people come to understand this when they are young, others come to understand it only when they are older, and some never come to understand it at all. I accept this.
I consider myself fortunate to have understood this when I was young, at about age seventeen. Twenty years later, it is a mantra -- I remind myself of it every day, usually in the shower.
This understanding came to me by way of Zen, which is, as they say, merely a finger pointing the way. You can assume that I am leaving much unsaid, knowing that you have to find your own way.
Corollary: Have the courage to change the things that can be changed, and wisdom to accept the things that cannot be changed.
I accept, in challenging people's assumptions and biases and preconceptions and so forth, that few people are perfect, that they may react in imperfect ways and in ways that may be hurtful to me or others.
I accept that courage implies the possibility of negative outcomes, including, ultimately, death.
I accept your flames. I accept your attempts to impose your ego on me. I accept your humanity and your imperfection as I accept my own.
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