Archive of UserLand's first discussion group, started October 5, 1998.

Re: anti flame capsule

Author:David McCusker
Posted:9/20/2000; 10:46:52 PM
Topic:anti flame capsule
Msg #:21567 (In response to 21562)
Prev/Next:21566 / 21568

Josh Allen: Hehe!

Yeah, Scott was extremely funny. But I didn't have anything substantive to say.

Josh Allen: This brings up a good point, which is that some people will take offense at anything.

Yes, but if you give virtually no reason, it makes such folks look irrational in public forums, so it's their choice.

Josh Allen: Do you think it should be your job to always be looking out for the feelings of another person?

No, I'm more a pragmatist than a softy. I actually look out for my feelings by looking out for theirs. I enjoy a calm exchange so much more than other kinds. Also, a heated exchange can make an otherwise good day less productive.

Josh Allen: It seems that if one were too concerned about having the other chap take offense, the other chap would quickly discover that he could steer and control the debate by getting riled up at appropriate points.

I find the opposite happens. Some folks want to be upset or to upset others, because it is instrumental to their style of steering the discussion. And where there's less cause for folks to be upset, this makes it much harder to control the debate.

If nothing else, one can try to find art in staying cool. I think it's a more pleasant style as well, and some folks seem to appreciate it.

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