Archive of UserLand's first discussion group, started October 5, 1998.

Re: Venues for personality issues

Author:Joshua Allen
Posted:9/15/2000; 1:02:27 AM
Topic:Venues for personality issues
Msg #:21340 (In response to 21323)
Prev/Next:21339 / 21341

Once when quite young, my mother chided me, "you think you're perfect, don't you?". "Of course," I replied, "because if there was something about me I didn't think was perfect, I would change it immediately, and then I would be perfect!" Or as Sartre put it, our lives are nothing but an attempt to demonstrate to the rest of the world through our choices what is our definition of a perfect man. Whenever someone criticizes me personally, I figure the following are the possibilities:

1) They are alerting me to something I had not yet thought of, and thus offering me the option to change it and become more perfect (or "perfect in my own mind" again) :-)

2) They are confused, acting on incomplete information, and honestly believe me to be imperfect and wanting to improve me. If I feel like it, I could help them arrive at a more correct perception.

3) They do not really think I am imperfect, but for some reason of their own (malice, hormones, or maybe something very deliberate and clever), wish me to believe that they find me imperfect. This is usually an opportunity to find out more about what makes the other guy tick and maybe infer more about their plans.

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