Archive of UserLand's first discussion group, started October 5, 1998.
Re: anti flame capsule - emotional amplification
Author: David McCusker Posted: 9/20/2000; 11:04:26 PM Topic: anti flame capsule Msg #: 21569 (In response to 21566) Prev/Next: 21568 / 21570
(Tomorrow I'll answer Josh more. Right now I'm groggy.)
Christopher Allen: Thus I find that now there are certain words and phrases that I avoid when responding to people online.
I try hard to start responses with "yes" instead of "no". The main exceptions are when the question is about an internal state inside me and I'm sure the answer is no (I get to be the authority on me).
Christopher Allen: I have to be very careful with irony and sarcasm
Sarcasm is deadly and I don't consider using it. Irony is okay when I couple it with explicit disclaimers, such as "no just kidding." Otherwise irony seems best only in light subjects like joking around.
Christopher Allen: and when I use them to include smilies to such give the emotional context that is missing from the text.
I especially use smilies when I imagine myself smiling in delivery.
Christopher Allen: I avoid the words "should" and "didn't", never tell someone that they forgot something, etc.
It's dangerous and not very productive to contradict other folks. That can turn a discussion into dull meta analysis of the speakers. The "should" and "didn't" words (and similar judgmental notions) are problems when they refer to the other person, but cause less trouble when the stay in more abstract areas, like "folks should do XYZ." But even then, you must watch out for folks substituting themselves in for "folks" because they're sure you're talking about them. :-)
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