Archive of UserLand's first discussion group, started October 5, 1998.

Re: Parents who feed their crying babies

Author:Dave Winer
Posted:11/25/1998; 8:45:04 AM
Topic:Testing a new feature.
Msg #:498 (In response to 495)
Prev/Next:497 / 499

Another thought, if you want to be a good parent, follow your own intuition, be as nurturing as you want to be to your daughter, develop the kind of relationship you want with her.

But, when she grows up and enters the world, whenever possible, point out the differences between you and everyone else. Let her know that she can't expect strangers to treat her with the love and attention and care for her needs, that you do. And I would suggest that as she can care for herself that you let her know that it's OK to do that. Then she would be less likely to look to strangers to protect her when she can do it for herself.

As an infant, it's totally appropriate to care for your child. After all, without you, she can't exist. But it's important for adults to see that this is no longer true, their existence can't be threatened by a bunch of bits on a hard disk somewhere, or it isn't likely (one can imagine a genocidal police state, where having your name on a hard disk *could* threaten your existence, but in the West at least, we clearly aren't living in that kind of world.)

Dave




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